بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
Bismi-llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm
"In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful."
Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahe wa Barakatuhu!
All praise is due to Allah - The Creator of the worlds, and His beloved messenger Muhammad (sallalahu alaihi wa salaam). May Allah (SWT) forgive and send the blessings upon the reader. May The All-Knowing increase us in knowledge. Amen.
It became common nowadays that Muslim women dress up for one another, put on make up, jewelry, revealing clothes, high heels etc. In this blog I would like to review how does it effect on the society and one's personal life. Does it go against Islamic teachings? There are several points we must consider as Muslims before dressing up for other women.
1) INTENTION
Allah (SWT) says:
"Your Lord is most knowing of what is within yourselves. If you should be righteous [in
intention] - then indeed He is ever, to the often returning [to Him], Forgiving."
(The Holy Quran, Surah Al-Isra, 17:25)
Prophet (saws) said:
"The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for."
(Bukhari, Book 1, Hadith 1, ENG Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 1)
First way that is opened for shaitan (lana tula alaihi) to get to us at these occasions is our intention. Ask yourself: "Why are you doing this?"
If the answer is: "To look prettier than other women", "To show my high status in the society", "To show how rich I am", "To put other sister down", "To prove something" etc. Then this type of intention is wrong and will lead you to sin. Because with these intentions ego and pride attack you.
If the answer is: "To show respect to the person who invited me throw spending my time on preparing myself for her occasion", "To give dawaad", "To follow the sunnah by acceptig invitation". Then this type of positive intention is good, if with your appearance you won't hurt anyone in the gathering.
If the answer is: "To look prettier than other women", "To show my high status in the society", "To show how rich I am", "To put other sister down", "To prove something" etc. Then this type of intention is wrong and will lead you to sin. Because with these intentions ego and pride attack you.
If the answer is: "To show respect to the person who invited me throw spending my time on preparing myself for her occasion", "To give dawaad", "To follow the sunnah by acceptig invitation". Then this type of positive intention is good, if with your appearance you won't hurt anyone in the gathering.
Prophet (saws) said:
"He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter Paradise."
(Sahih Muslim 91 c, Book 1, Hadith 173, ENG Book 1, Hadith 166)
The first step we must do before going to Muslim women gathering is to check our intention! | |
2) HUSBAND
Allah (SWT) says:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
(The Holy Quran, Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)
Prophet (saws) said:
"Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband".
(Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285)
Another complication we can face by dressing up for women gatherings is jealous husband. Some women said that their husbands get extremely jealous when they wear make-up and beautiful clothes for women gatherings while not doing that at home. In this case, if you continue dressing up for parties, it will create fights between you and him and might result in unhealthy relationships which will effect not only you but also your children and entire household. Some husbands might behave differently. He might not tell you straight that he feels jealous. His mood will change while you dress up to go out. Observe the situation. If you see that every time you prepare yourself for these parties he gets mad, yells, fights with you, brings up past misunderstandings, then he defiantly disapproves your dressing up for other women. If this is your case - stop. Start beautifying yourself for your husband and wear simple clothes and no make up for other women. We are wives, mothers, daughters, sisters. Our first priority must be creating positive environment at home. Husbands are the ones, who deserve and will really appreciate your beautiful appearance. So if you feel like you want to dress up, do it for him. Wear beautiful clothes, shoes, jewelry, perfume, make-up before he comes home from work. It will create love and respect in his heart for you and will strengthen your relationships.
Nouman Ali Khan is mentioning this topic in his lecture "Tips for having a happier family"
The second step we must do before going to Muslim women gathering is to ask permission from our husbands and make sure they approve our appearance!
3) SALAH
Allah (SWT) says:
"So woe to those who pray
[But] who are heedless of their prayer (...)"
(The Holy Quran, Surah Al-Ma'un, 107:4-5)
Prophet (saws) said:
“A person neglecting his Salaah (even though he makes it up later) shall remain in Jahannam for a period of one huqb. A Huqb is equal to 80 years of 360 each, and a day in Akhirah shall equal 1000 years of this world.”
Explanation of the hadith: http://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/84040
(Fadhāil A’māl)
Dressing up for parties in some cases includes: 1) Wearing revealing or tight clothes 2) Wearing make-up 3) Wearing nail polish.
All this prevents us from fulfilling our salah properly. In order for our obligatory prayer to be accepted we must: 1) Wear loose garment that covers parts of the body which must be covered during the obligatory prayer (salah) 2) Wash off make-up while we performe ablution (wudu) 3) Clean nail polish while doing ablution (wudu)
Learn how to make wudu here with pictures (before everything you must wash your private parts): http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-Wudu
Common mistakes while performing ablution:
Learn how to make wudu here with pictures (before everything you must wash your private parts): http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-Wudu
Common mistakes while performing ablution:
The purpose of salah is to bring the life inside the prayer to our daily life. During the prayer we must obey and please Allah (SWT) in every aspect.
Prophet (saws) said:
“The key to Paradise is prayer, and the key to prayer is ablution.”
Prophet (saws) said:
“The key to Paradise is prayer, and the key to prayer is ablution.”
(Musnad Ahmad)
While some schollars say that wearing make-up and nail polish is allowed during the obligatory prayer (salah), others disagree. It depends from the cosmetic/nail polish type you are wearing. First thing to check, if it is halal.
More useful tips on cosmetic: http://saudibeautyblog.com/wudhu-friendly-makeup/
In case, if you do wear make up and nail polish, you must make sure that you won't use bathroom until the next salah (prayer). Usually, at the parties like this food and drinks are served. So if you have some and feel pressure or discomfort in lower belly but won't perform ablution (wudu) trying to keep your makeup and nail polish on, this feeling will disturb you during the salah and you will loose concentration. The quality of the salah won't be accurate and the result as well.
The third step we must do before going to Muslim women gathering is to make sure our wudu (ablution) is done properly and our salah (prayer) is done on time!
4) DRESS CODE
Firstly, we must be careful on our way to the gathering. The clothes we wear, sound of high heels, hairstyle, make-up, perfume, jewelry must not be observed by non-mahram men since all these attracts them and creates fitnah in the society. If it happens, we will brake the rule set by Our Creator.
Allah (SWT) says:
And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers (khumur) over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed
(Surat An-Nur, 24:31)
Prophet (saws) said:
"Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress."
(Musnad Ahmad, Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Sunan Abi Dawud)
Read more about Islamic dress code and proper hijab here:
http://muslimsistersoftheummah.blogspot.com/2014/12/should-i-wear-headscarf-quran-about.html
http://muslimsistersoftheummah.blogspot.com/2014/12/should-i-wear-headscarf-quran-about.html
Secondly, we must know that according to Islamic teachings Muslim woman must cover her awrah in front of other women. Woman's awrah for other women is from the navel up to including the knees. And the rest of the body we will cover according to the level of our haya (shyness). Level of haya is equal to the level of one's imaan.
To learn more about aurah and covering listen to the Tafsir of Surah An-Nur ayat 31. Choose juz 18 and listen to Lesson 178 An-Nur (21-26):
Thirdly, Islamic dress code must be observed during obligatory prayer. Clothes requirements for salah (worship) are:
1) Loose garment covering whole body but face and hands.
2) Headscarf covering hair, ears, neck, chest.
Here you can find answers to question "Can I pray with specific work clothes?"
The fourth step we must do before going to Muslim women gathering is to make sure Allah (SWT) is satisfied with our dress code.
5) PLEASING ALLAH (SWT).
The last step - we must always strive to please our Maker. Not to please people by disobeying The Most Merciful.
If there will be music at the party - do not attend it.
If men and women are mixed - do not attend it.
If haram food is served - do not attend it.
If alcohol is served - do not attend it.
If gambling is done - do not attend it.
Because if you do then you will commit sin by pleasing the person who invited you by disobeying Allah (SWT).
Prophet (saws) said:
"A people of my Ummah will drink wine, calling it by other than its real name. Merriment will be made for them through the playing of musical instruments and the singing of female singers. Allaah will cleave the earth under them and turn others into apes and swine."
(Ibn Maajah, al-Bayhaaqi, Ibn Asaakir)
Prophet (saws) said:
"Verily Allaah prohibited wine, gambling and al-koobah; and every intoxicant is prohibited." Sufyan said : " I asked the narrator, Ali bin Badheemah, ' What is al-Koobah?' He answered, 'It is the drum'."
(Ahmad bin Hanbal)
The fifth step we must do before going to Muslim women gathering is to make sure we please Allah (SWT) alone.
